I made it!!!

Here it is Wednesday and I made it through without Andy. I haven't felt mentally stable in the past few days, and wondering if the alcohol has anything to do with it. I am feeling like I want to walk away. This time I want to walk and not run away. Walk out and back into my life. I know (or least I think I know) now that this is the only life I am going to get and am willing to deal. Outside influences aren't the issue in this life, it is I, that is the biggest problem. I feel as though I could go out for a jog and run forever. It helps to clear my head, but only for a few hours.

Andy and I are not on the same plane. Maybe this is because he cannot possibly understand where my head is. When talking about it or writing about it, it sounds ridiculous. It is time for a change...for the better, of course. I will do my best today to not drink, stay level headed, get my work done, and remember that my life is cake compared to most!!!!! The more I dwell on it the more apt I am to say f**k it! So, a will practice a positive attitude today.

I am need of a meeting, and hope to get there tonight, but life has been so busy lately.

Grateful for the promise of a beautiful day, coffee, all the stuff that has to been accomplished today (to keep me busy), our health, and their happiness (if only their mother and wife wasn't so f**cked up)