Little Voices

Y'know those voices I have mentioned... the ones that tell me it is OK to have just one drink and everything will be alright. I managed to suppress them for two days now and as a result I heard other voices. I heard them all. The people in my life talking to me, the kids laughing and playing, the nagging voice of my mother. They were clear and unfiltered. It was a great feeling. When I am drinking I only hear what I want to hear and I miss most of what is happening around me. Without a drink I can sense what is happening in my life without being told or having it right in front of my face.
I survived a trip to my hometown without a drink...that is just shy of a miracle. My mother asked me at every turn if I wanted a drink and I simply said, "No, thank you," and walked away QUICKLY. Telling my family about all of this would only make it worse. If you knew them, you too would understand and agree. I survived!!!!
Today has been great so far. I forced myself to get out of bed and run, and now I am drinking my first cup of coffee (still missing you, Kate). The list of things to do has been made and hopefully I will accomplish at least half of it. No pressure today. I plan to take it easy and enjoy one of the last beautiful days of summer.
At the moment I am grateful for the perfect day, the fact that I am home, my breakfast of champions (minus the screwdriver), my sleepy kids, the ability to chain smoke and run everyday (although if I could just quit my time may improve???), health and happiness.

I hope you all can say the same. Cheers!