Can't I start again on Monday. You know...like a diet. My family is coming tomorrow for a b-day party for Anna and Jack, and I am unsure of the outcome. It is still calling my name and when I went to buy beer for the party, I swear it said, "just join us one more time." Someone please make them go away. How can it possibly be so hard not to want to drink. I can give up anything else (OK coffee might be a challenge, but they make alternatives.) To think of it, they make alternatives for cigarettes, but not for alcohol. Why can't I eat something that satisfies my craving?
Hard not to be bitchy today, and I am not sure why. I have smoked enough, drank enough coffee, resigned myself to the fact that the house will not ever be clean enough for my mother. Can it be the fact that I have not had a drink since Monday? I have, however, had some really good laughs this morning. I almost wet my pants while garage sale(ing) with my neighbor, and a bug attacked me in the car (which was hysterical)!!!!
Gratitude...for some reason it is not so easy today
washing machine, my sister, my neighbor, their pool, the sun, of course, and meetings (I am in need right now)
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This is for you, Kate
A day at a time in the life of a not so drunk soccer mom.
This is for you, Kate
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- A little about myself...I am a 32 year old mom of three beautiful children and wife of a very supportive and loving man. I have everything I could ever want, except for the willpower to stop drinking.
5 comments:
That must have been hard to buy beer for a party. I would be like "I can't drink so you can't either!". Although, you can't push your decision on others. I know what you mean about a substitute for alocohol, like the patch and gum for tobacco. There are 3 general medications you might want to talk to your doctor about to help you stop and refraine from drinking. But, its still our choosing to not drink. Well, have fun at the party.
I know that feeling and I quit on many a Monday morning. It wasn't until I surrendered that it stuck and it was a Monday. I would gently suggest that in the future someone else buy the beer and that perhaps you might want to consider putting your sobriety first. If that means leaving the party for a meeting or to at least call someone from a meeting, do it. The first party I went to wasn't a problem for me. I brought my extra large iced coffee and also realized that my friends were simply having a drink, while I would have been DRINKING. Seeing the difference, definately helped me.
Have a great and sober rest of the weekend.
I had 54 days in the program as of Friday morning. Then, while pouring a glass of wine for my aunt, I drank it myself instead. Once I had the first one, it was all over. I don't remember much of Friday. The good news is, my brother took me to a 9:30 pm meeting Friday night, then I attended a 7:00 pm meeting Saturday and a 6:15 am meeting Sunday. I am safe in the meetings. My lesson learned is that I can't even be around alcohol. Why did I imagine that I could pour a glass of wine for someone? Why did I imagine I could be in a house with an open gallon of Vodka on the kitchen countertop? At least until I have some serious sober time under my belt, I can not be around it. While I agree with Krista that you can not push your decision on others, I also agree with Kathy Lynn that you need to put your sobriety first. You do not need to buy the beer or even have it in your house. Your family and friends need to understand that.
My sister-in-law, a former neighbor of yours, told me about your blog because she is struck by the similarities between us. Maybe we can get through this together.
I found it hard to to be around alcohol, like excruciating at times, they suggested I stay away, and ask others to do coffee instead of bars etc, just fort the time being, however long that was I didnt ask. Even at home, not have open alcohol around me, I needed that advice, as the smell would start my thinking off. And go to a meeting everyday they said, so i tried. Am glad I tried.
Laughing is essential, especially the "nearly wet yourself" kind. Keep on one day at a time, and I like that you found somegratitude. We always seem to look for perfection. Thank God the Big Book suggest progress, not perfection, P65. Am Lovin your laughter !!
I agree with Kathy if you have to be around it, get someone else to buy and pour it for others.
Also try not to get hung up with the too much smoking and coffee at the moment, unless its doctoirs orders of course! its easy to get distracted by other things and get diverted from our main problem ALCOHOL. P134,135 gives us a warning about this and what may happen if we try and change everything at once.
When I first quit drinking a friend asked me to stop by and buy the wine for a party she was having. I was sooooo angry, frustrated, pissed - you name it.. but it wasn't so much that I was angry at the friend (although it WAS a little unthoughtful).. in the beginning I was angry that I couldn't drink that wine. I'm at a different place now but I know it is really really hard. I agree with Kathy lynne to gently suggest someone else buy it. Thinking about ya.
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